It's been so long that I don't even remember how I met Paul Wagner. I know it couldn't have been before sophomore year in high school since that was when Anthony Wayne and Schuyler Colfax kids got thrown in the mixing pot of Wayne Valley. It just seems like we were always friends, always ready to engage in those serious conversations that teenagers who think they're all grown have that help determine which direction they head off into the real world.
Back then, he was a diver; he would run headlong into the void and take a flying leap throwing caution to the wind no matter what he did intellectually or in action. He was always just busting out with things that he wanted to do or ideas he wanted to explore.
Back then, I was a dabbler, always cautious, taking life in little bites with one toe in the water, never committing fully to anything but willing to try a little. I was a generalist, someone who knew a little about a lot. My curiosity was wide ranging, more than superficial, but never fully committed to learning everything about anything.
I can't count how many discussions we had about our differing approaches to learning and life. And over time we both moved closer to the center for the benefit of both. We had some amazing experiences and experiments and learned about life and each other. Having a friend to talk with always made it easier, whatever it was.. Even after graduation, beginning college life, we stayed in touch, getting together whenever I was in Jersey to discover what my friend had gotten himself into now. I remember him telling me he was going to San Francisco. I remember when he left for what he hoped would be a life as a singer/songwriter.
We lost touch with each other as we both faced our individual challenges. I spent 30 years wondering if he had succumbed to the AIDS epidemic in San Francisco. But that's what losing touch is. No way to confirm or deny. It was only with my mission to find all our classmates that brought revealed that we had both survived living to speak to each other again. Even then, I realized that his health wouldn't let him travel anymore, and like always, there just isn't enough time to do everything we want or need to do. His brother Jeffrey's post would have caught me completely by surprise had it not been for a single short post that Paul left for me: "You are my good friend". I didn't know what he meant by that then. Now I do.
Good bye my friend, I will never forget you.
